A Committed Listening

Hello World!

"What does it mean?" is how I started this blog out. After I wrote & re-read it, I realize it might serve me better to state versus question soooo...

What it means. I  am here to help my planet. I choose for it to be fun & easy. I have days I feel enthusiastic & motivated. I have days I require massive amounts of stimulants & decrees to stay present. I have realized how important prayer, decree, and listening to my heart are. I have always had my connection with God & I realize my partnership was only one way. I spoke to him, questioned him, and  asked for things. I didn't let him speak back, answer me, or receive what he offered. My relationship with Spirit was exactly like most my relationships had been: one-sided, confusing, meaningless, just existing. Blgh! Gross! In the past, I have been selfish based on fear I won't receive back. I realize I have to give up doubt. I realize I have to give up sorting on the outside. I realize I am secure in receiving. I receive my God's love. I hear my God speak. My God speaks to me through my heart. I trust my heart & I trust my God. I realize as long as I honor my heart I am honoring my life & my life is God. God has always spoken back, answered my questions, & granted my prayers. I was just moving on & blaming him so I couldn't hear. The illusion works over-time to survive. The illusion, fear, doubt, pain can only exist if I let it by denying my God. Our human is so convoluted. Yesterday I went into a tyraid while talking to my sister about money. I played the victim & went off about going back to waiting tables & it's the only thing I can do to get money fast. Again, GROSS! I stepped outside by body. This was the perfect time to ask for help from God. Hello McFly! It has been said everything in opposition to what you are choosing is going to come up. Oh this was fo' sho the opposition. I forgive myself for folding & allowing the perceived outside pressure to come into be being. My new choice is I am a committed listening to my God. With God, I can only have perfection. I receive my God's love. I receive my love. I receive my massive amount of money. I help my planet find their heart's voice.

Self-Sabotage

Hello Family!


Self-Sabotage is very sneaky. I have had a headache since yesterday. Before I went to bed last night, I made a agreement with myself. My conversation went a little like this...I give myself permission to go to bed, call it a day, & start over again tomorrow. I will wake up early & refreshed, take Roxy (my dog)  for a walk, work-out, read some decrees, & then study for my Real Estate test. I actually woke up early & realized I still felt pain in my head & now my throat too. I went back to sleep until 8:30 & then sat on my couch until 10:00, not really doing anything. I was going over all the things I  get to do today. One thing I knew was important, because I really didn't want to do it, was call a friend to help me through my funk. I knew she would hear exactly what is up & I would have to transmute it. The illusion is very tricky! I am very involved in Conscious Language. I am a Conscious Language Facilitator/Coach & a very good one. Dang! When I am in my stuff though hearing my language & feeling my feelings is other than easy. After an hour & a half of sitting here debating whether I was gonna make the phone call or not, I finally asked my heart to guide me. (Sometimes I am a little slow!) My heart said "make the call beautiful angel". As soon as I called & started talking, the illusion was all over. I was in Self-Sabotage. If I created sickness then I didn't have to do the things I needed to & then I wouldn't have to move forward. In the past, I have suppressed my joy. I had a story that if I was happy then it would be taken away. I didn't know I am responsible for my joy. I am responsible for realizing what joy  is for me. My joy is in my heart & always has been. I am transforming my life now. I quit my job waiting tables about 5 weeks ago. I have other than have a job & I am in my faith my God supplies me. I have been really getting to know me & my God. I have been remembering my peace in my heart & feeling my angels & my Sponsorship around me. I have realized I love teaching & I love helping people through their stuff, even if that means I only sit here & be present. I started doing all the things I "had" to do today. I feel my joy of moving forward while I do them. I still feel slight pain in my head and throat, I am just letting it be ok.