Friday, July 30, 2010


It has been brought to my attention I am not very feminine. I wear make-up, dresses, and skirts. I invest a lot time & money on my hair. I love shoes, shopping, jewelry, & purses. All this is what makes a female, right? Nope. I am very feminine on the outer & very masculine on the inner.  I have been feeling really deep about having my divine partner. I realize I get to be my own divine partner before I meet him in the physical, not actually be him. I realize I do for myself what I choose to receive through my man. I have woken up to something huge for me. I am independent, strong, dominate, & opinionated. There is nothing right or wrong with these qualities, unless I am using them to protect myself from being hurt. In the past, I have had the mentality that men wanted woman more like themselves & their friends. Someone to go to watch sports with, drink beer with, talk dirty with...I became that girl. I changed myself because I thought if I acted like a dude, more dudes would like me. Typing this out I feel how ridiculous this is. If men wanted to date women who act like dudes they would date their friends. True? I have been doing this for about 10 years now. I have had failed relationship after failed relationship. Males choose to partner with females. Females that act like females. Males like to protect females & be strong for females. It's innate in them. I'm not saying I can't be strong because I need to let a man do it for me. I am saying men & women complement each other. Sometimes it's ok to let them take care of me. It's ok for me to let my guard down & let him love me. I realize I get to let my feminine & masculine co-exist in my heart & in my life. I allow my feminine, more vulnerable, side to shine. I will keep you posted on  what happens next and I already feel my divine partner.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Light on our Planet

I realized today I have been fearful to shine my light since I was about 4. At 4 years old! Do you know what I mean by shine my light? I mean I dimmed my presence, so people (my family) couldn't see me. I made up a story my light was too bright & uncomfortable for them. How often in the past have we told children to be quiet because we required silence? Or told them to stop playing with their imaginary friends? Or STOP crying? All of which are just children expressing themselves.  The message I received was  I am not suppose to be seen or heard. Sit or go play quietly by myself so the adults around me could be comfortable. I realize most of that could be a story I made up AND how much of it is true?  How much of it have I passed on to the children in my life. Up until about 2 years ago, I less than enjoyed being around children. Their light was too much for me & my human. My light was too much for me & my human. I am 31 now & in small increments over the last few years I've allowed my light to shine. As of today, I shine my light 100%. I take the basket off my light & I shine. I then stomp on the basket so I will keep it off! I allow you to see my genius & my beauty. I ask you to do it with me. Shine your light! And allow all the people in your life to shine their light too. We definitely have room on this planet for more light, especially through our children. Remember darkness cannot live where there is light. God is light!

Monday, July 12, 2010

"About Me"

This is my story I posted on my  "About Me" from my website. I am inspired to share it here on my blog. Please read this only in your purity, love, & faith...

On June 10, 2005, I was shot in the chest in a home invasion. I was staying with a friend at her apartment. A guy broke in through the patio door & held a shotgun to our heads to get us on the floor. My friend’s roommate, sister, mother, & niece were also in the apartment. He went back and forth from room to room trying to figure out what to do. When he was in the other room, we ran. My friend made it over the railing the first time. I didn’t. He pulled me back in by my hair, into the same room I came from. He left me there. I ran again. This time I made it over the railing. I had run about 10 feet when I heard the gun cock. I turned around. Thank God. Instead of going through my back & killing me, the bullet got me in the chest. It completely took off my left breast. I got up & ran through the parking lot…screaming. I had no idea I had been shot. He was coming after me. I ran a few buildings down & knocked on a door. The guy had heard me screaming, looked out, saw me bleeding, and opened his door to let me in. The man who shot me got away.

Afterwards, I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I had anxiety (fear), nightmares, fear of public places, a sleeping disorder, fear of being alone in my house. Every night I had a routine of turning the porch lights on & off, and lights in the house on or off. I obsessed about knowing how an intruder chose the place he would break into. I went to doctors & counselors, got on meds…antidepressants, mood stabilizers, sleeping pills, anxiety pills. In addition to those, I was addicted to painkillers. I took about 35 pills a day. About a year after of all this, I crashed. Literally. I threw my car off the highway into a cement pillar. I went to jail for a DWI for having my valium in my car. I spent 3 days in jail, while I waited for my parents to come to Dallas from Lubbock to come get their baby girl. I do not recommend going through withdrawal in jail. I went back to Lubbock. First step was to get off all the freaking pills. My mom & sisters are firm believers in alternative therapy & they intervened. They introduced me to Emotional Freedom Technique, EFT. Through EFT, I learned how important talking about “my stuff” is & the value of having another person be completely present with me. I moved to Austin to be close to my EFT Practitioner. I mastered EFT. My EFT Practitioner introduced me to Conscious Language 101. Another friend & mentor gave me an intro to Robert Stevens work. By listening to my words & applying a few word changes, I shifted my life. I went to Bob’s core classes. Now, I have mastered all my tools Bob has taught me. I do Bio-Optic Holography™, Sacred Body Language Translations™, Outcome Facilitations™, & teach Language of Mastery™ classes.

This story is the reason why I do what I do. The worst thing that ever happened to me was also the best. In the past, I had no identity or what was happening when I was feeling other than enthusiastic. Now, I know there is a scale of emotions, and where I am on it. I am can translate what is up for me through body language, listening to my word patterns, & through reading eyes. I am present with what I am feeling, and I feel it. I feel, instead of try to figure things out with my head & suppressing it. Sometimes feeling is really easy, and sometimes really hard. Through attending Mastery System classes, I learned thoughts become things. I create my world with my thoughts, so I choose the good ones. I choose to give my brothers & sisters on my planet options to healthcare. My highest choice is to help you heal with ease & see your own perfection. I am dedicated to love, the only forward motion. I am here to heal my planet.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

A Committed Listening

Hello World!
"What does it mean?" is how I started this blog out. After I wrote & re-read it, I realize it might serve me better to state versus question soooo...

What it means. I  am here to help my planet. I choose for it to be fun & easy. I have days I feel enthusiastic & motivated. I have days I require massive amounts of stimulants & decrees to stay present. I have realized how important prayer, decree, and listening to my heart are. I have always had my connection with God & I realize my partnership was only one way. I spoke to him, questioned him, and  asked for things. I didn't let him speak back, answer me, or receive what he offered. My relationship with Spirit was exactly like most my relationships had been: one-sided, confusing, meaningless, just existing. Blgh! Gross! In the past, I have been selfish based on fear I won't receive back. I realize I have to give up doubt. I realize I have to give up sorting on the outside. I realize I am secure in receiving. I receive my God's love. I hear my God speak. My God speaks to me through my heart. I trust my heart & I trust my God. I realize as long as I honor my heart I am honoring my life & my life is God. God has always spoken back, answered my questions, & granted my prayers. I was just moving on & blaming him so I couldn't hear. The illusion works over-time to survive. The illusion, fear, doubt, pain can only exist if I let it by denying my God. Our human is so convoluted. Yesterday I went into a tyraid while talking to my sister about money. I played the victim & went off about going back to waiting tables & it's the only thing I can do to get money fast. Again, GROSS! I stepped outside by body. This was the perfect time to ask for help from God. Hello McFly! It has been said everything in opposition to what you are choosing is going to come up. Oh this was fo' sho the opposition. I forgive myself for folding & allowing the perceived outside pressure to come into be being. My new choice is I am a committed listening to my God. With God, I can only have perfection. I receive my God's love. I receive my love. I receive my massive amount of money. I help my planet find their heart's voice.

Monday, July 5, 2010


Hello Family!

Self-Sabotage is very sneaky. I have had a headache since yesterday. Before I went to bed last night, I made a agreement with myself. My conversation went a little like this...I give myself permission to go to bed, call it a day, & start over again tomorrow. I will wake up early & refreshed, take Roxy (my dog)  for a walk, work-out, read some decrees, & then study for my Real Estate test. I actually woke up early & realized I still felt pain in my head & now my throat too. I went back to sleep until 8:30 & then sat on my couch until 10:00, not really doing anything. I was going over all the things I  get to do today. One thing I knew was important, because I really didn't want to do it, was call a friend to help me through my funk. I knew she would hear exactly what is up & I would have to transmute it. The illusion is very tricky! I am very involved in Conscious Language. I am a Conscious Language Facilitator/Coach & a very good one. Dang! When I am in my stuff though hearing my language & feeling my feelings is other than easy. After an hour & a half of sitting here debating whether I was gonna make the phone call or not, I finally asked my heart to guide me. (Sometimes I am a little slow!) My heart said "make the call beautiful angel". As soon as I called & started talking, the illusion was all over. I was in Self-Sabotage. If I created sickness then I didn't have to do the things I needed to & then I wouldn't have to move forward. In the past, I have suppressed my joy. I had a story that if I was happy then it would be taken away. I didn't know I am responsible for my joy. I am responsible for realizing what joy  is for me. My joy is in my heart & always has been. I am transforming my life now. I quit my job waiting tables about 5 weeks ago. I have other than have a job & I am in my faith my God supplies me. I have been really getting to know me & my God. I have been remembering my peace in my heart & feeling my angels & my Sponsorship around me. I have realized I love teaching & I love helping people through their stuff, even if that means I only sit here & be present. I started doing all the things I "had" to do today. I feel my joy of moving forward while I do them. I still feel slight pain in my head and throat, I am just letting it be ok.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

My First Post

Well Hello World!
My sister gave me the idea to blog about my life & my journery I've been on a few months ago. My first thought when she suggested this was "People don't wanna here what I have to say!". The truth is I feel fear about writing. I had a story, in the past, that I was other than a good writer. I thought more about it & realized I do not have to stick the boring, standard way of writing I was taught in school: an intro, body, then a conclusion. I can free-write, just say what is on my mind, & have fun. Kind of like journaling. I do journal & my thought has been one day I would publish it & help some people. I talk to myself in my head a lot. I might as well get my thoughts out soooooo here I am. I enjoy talking. I don't talk to myself or anything. I do talk to anybody that will even act like they are listening. I realized a few days ago my sister is on to something. I have awesome things to share everyday & I only share them with a few people. Sometimes the things I share are a-has for them too & sometimes I hear crickets and a polite "Well, good Amanda!" My new habit is to come blog about it. I feel enthusiastic my voice will reach hundreds of thousands of people soon. I feel joy about sharing my life & knowing my followers will reap benefits from it.

Cheers to making it through my first post with ease & grace. I have my courage to speak my heart's truth & my heart speaks loud!