Monday, July 5, 2010


Hello Family!

Self-Sabotage is very sneaky. I have had a headache since yesterday. Before I went to bed last night, I made a agreement with myself. My conversation went a little like this...I give myself permission to go to bed, call it a day, & start over again tomorrow. I will wake up early & refreshed, take Roxy (my dog)  for a walk, work-out, read some decrees, & then study for my Real Estate test. I actually woke up early & realized I still felt pain in my head & now my throat too. I went back to sleep until 8:30 & then sat on my couch until 10:00, not really doing anything. I was going over all the things I  get to do today. One thing I knew was important, because I really didn't want to do it, was call a friend to help me through my funk. I knew she would hear exactly what is up & I would have to transmute it. The illusion is very tricky! I am very involved in Conscious Language. I am a Conscious Language Facilitator/Coach & a very good one. Dang! When I am in my stuff though hearing my language & feeling my feelings is other than easy. After an hour & a half of sitting here debating whether I was gonna make the phone call or not, I finally asked my heart to guide me. (Sometimes I am a little slow!) My heart said "make the call beautiful angel". As soon as I called & started talking, the illusion was all over. I was in Self-Sabotage. If I created sickness then I didn't have to do the things I needed to & then I wouldn't have to move forward. In the past, I have suppressed my joy. I had a story that if I was happy then it would be taken away. I didn't know I am responsible for my joy. I am responsible for realizing what joy  is for me. My joy is in my heart & always has been. I am transforming my life now. I quit my job waiting tables about 5 weeks ago. I have other than have a job & I am in my faith my God supplies me. I have been really getting to know me & my God. I have been remembering my peace in my heart & feeling my angels & my Sponsorship around me. I have realized I love teaching & I love helping people through their stuff, even if that means I only sit here & be present. I started doing all the things I "had" to do today. I feel my joy of moving forward while I do them. I still feel slight pain in my head and throat, I am just letting it be ok.