Friday, July 30, 2010
It has been brought to my attention I am not very feminine. I wear make-up, dresses, and skirts. I invest a lot time & money on my hair. I love shoes, shopping, jewelry, & purses. All this is what makes a female, right? Nope. I am very feminine on the outer & very masculine on the inner. I have been feeling really deep about having my divine partner. I realize I get to be my own divine partner before I meet him in the physical, not actually be him. I realize I do for myself what I choose to receive through my man. I have woken up to something huge for me. I am independent, strong, dominate, & opinionated. There is nothing right or wrong with these qualities, unless I am using them to protect myself from being hurt. In the past, I have had the mentality that men wanted woman more like themselves & their friends. Someone to go to watch sports with, drink beer with, talk dirty with...I became that girl. I changed myself because I thought if I acted like a dude, more dudes would like me. Typing this out I feel how ridiculous this is. If men wanted to date women who act like dudes they would date their friends. True? I have been doing this for about 10 years now. I have had failed relationship after failed relationship. Males choose to partner with females. Females that act like females. Males like to protect females & be strong for females. It's innate in them. I'm not saying I can't be strong because I need to let a man do it for me. I am saying men & women complement each other. Sometimes it's ok to let them take care of me. It's ok for me to let my guard down & let him love me. I realize I get to let my feminine & masculine co-exist in my heart & in my life. I allow my feminine, more vulnerable, side to shine. I will keep you posted on what happens next and I already feel my divine partner.